Why, oh why, did I spend my entire last post whining about the weather? Because y'all, we got Weather. We got enough damn Weather to last me the rest of the year!
My parents, who also live here in Portland, left on Tuesday morning for Costa Rica for 2 weeks. I am currently house/dogsitting for them, and we had arranged for me to take them to the airport on Tuesday morning before work.
Well. That little trip, which should have been 45 minutes to an hour (both ways) ended up taking us (me) FOUR HOURS. Four goddamn hours. Because it was snowing. And not in a pretty, "oh look, it's snowing!" kind of way. More of a "oh holy shit we are going to DIE here on the highway!" kind of way.
Y'all, Portlanders do not do snow. We do not understand it, we don't know how to drive in it, walk in it, or otherwise handle it. If we get more than an inch the entire city shuts down. Well, yesterday we got a lot more than an inch. At my parents' house, which is up in the West Hills and thus at a generally higher elevation than most of Portland, there is close to five inches.
FIVE INCHES, Y'ALL.
Luckily, I was driving my parents' Durango, which has 4WD and so was able to get home safely (although the drive itself was completely nerve wracking and I think it took 5 years off my life). But, now that I'm home, I can't get out again.
You see, my parents live at the bottom of a very steep hill. And even in our brave old Durango, I am not getting my ass up that hill. Today I tried. I decided I was going to go to work. So I backed the car out of the garage, started to back down the driveway, and promptly slid sideways about 3 feet. I was afraid for a moment that the truck wasn't going to stop at all.
Luckily it did. But that was as far as I got today. I couldn't even get the Durango back into the garage. So now it's sitting, kind of crooked-like across the driveway and kind of on the snow-covered lawn (so white trash, y'all!). Awesome.
But. Do you know how boring it can be when you're stuck in someone else's house, and they don't have your DVDs or your CDs and your damn laptop decides to break? Do you? Because let me tell you, it can be pretty damn boring! I was starting to feel pretty damn housebound by yesterday evening, but at this point I have a genuine case of cabin fever. If I do not get out of the house tomorrow I may go nutso on y'all.
So. Tomorrow I am going to conquer that hill. I will make it my bitch. I will get to work! And for once, I will actually be ecstatic to go!
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Portland really mustn't do snow if you went through all that trouble for a measly five inches. Even Philly handles the weather better than that, and I thought we were bad! Boston is laughing at us.
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